One tiny pill update:

It has been a week and two days since I started taking that one tiny pill and here is what I have noticed so far. First of all, that tiny pill is Abilify, which is an atypical antipsychotic. Studies have found that adding a low dose of Abilify (1mg for me) to antidepressants increases the effects of the antidepressants. 

So that first weekend was a little rough, especially the Sunday (Sundays traditionally are rough for me anyways and it was the worse one in a while) but it was early on and probably had nothing to do with the medication, more just with me. But I recovered well the next day and didn’t stew in it as I usually do after a tough time. The week started pretty well but then came car issues on Thursday, car issues are a big stressor for me as it costs a good chunk of money (another huge stressor) and being without a car causes me to feel trapped which acerbates my PTSD, among a lot of other things. I got a little upset at first but kept in control and made a plan to get it fixed and looked into things if fixing it isn’t a cost affective option. I even made a appointment, on my own, at a repair place that has rental cars (which they weren’t certain they would have one available until I dropped the car off). I was able to keep her on the road until my appointment Saturday morning and they did have a rental (not a loaner, but at an excellent rate). I even had a contingency to keep my Saturday Mother’s Day tulip picking plans if there wasn’t a rental. I stayed pretty level throughout the situation, with all complications that came throughout the way, not to say I wasn’t or I am not anxious along the way, it is just that it didn’t overwhelm me, even when the service place guy said they probably couldn’t even look at the car until Monday. I was afraid at first of my more mellow reaction as sometimes I am that way because I push everything down and it comes up in a bad way (i.e. last Sunday) but it doesn’t feel that way right now, it is like I am navigating the problem without the fog that being depressed and anxious brings, instead of feeling around in the dark to get through it. I know some of it is me but I know some is the medication too, it is clearing that fog some my mind has constantly. Now is the fog still there, of course it is, but I am move confident to navigate through it. Will the fog return tomorrow? Who knows (especially after they tell me what is wrong with my car), but I will enjoy it while it lasts and learn to cope so I am ready for when it does.