One tiny pill

It is funny how one tiny pill can make so many waves in my life, even before I have taken the first dose. I have take psychotropic medication for many, many years so it is definitely not new to me but this one feels different to me. After struggling for a while now, I got sick of feeling so sick (mentally) so I gathered information and support and asked for help (which is huge for me as I don’t ask for help as much as I should). And my psych NP listened and said the drug I had asked about is a viable choice for me. So after she answered some of questions and addressed some of my fears, I agreed to try a new medication as an adjunct to the medications I already take (as I am at the maximum dose for those two drugs).

I feel both nervous anticipation and straight up fear. This medication has helped people with depression gain back hope and light, but it also has possible significant side effects, but usually not at the extremely low dose. new medication is from a class of psychotropic medication that I have never taken before and there is a bit of stigma attached to taking these types of medication.  

Although I am afraid I will take that first dose tomorrow, I am going to be brave for bravery isn’t the lack of fear, it is being afraid and doing the right thing anyway.